Validium

Validation feels so good! It’s a drug to me, a quick high and escape when people like my stuff or agree with me on facebook. On the surface it looks self-serving and narcissistic but if you only knew… it feels good because it validates my very existence. I’m not so stupid after all. I have not, for this moment at least, wasted the oxygen i dare to breathe lest i take it from someone else. For a moment i am useful. As I medicate more (psychiatrist prescribed), I feel more cautiously worthy. People’s opinions determine less of what i see in the mental mirror and oxygen feels more and more like a birthright than something stolen to power this sack of failure I embody. Validation is still nice but now, unnecessary. I’m kicking the habit.

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